It’s Mommahood Monday and today we are talking about marriage. As many of you know, recently Heidi Klum and Seal announced they are getting divorced. This breaks my heart. I am not usually one to follow celebrity couples and admire their relationships, but I must say  I have enjoyed watching this couple through the years. Clearly they were really in love at one time. Seal married Heidi when she was pregnant with another man’s child, AND this couple renewed their vows every year. I have to say, after I heard the news I really was at a loss for words. This got me to thinking about my own marriage philosophy. I have been married to my high school sweetheart for over 11 years. We got married very young! Thankfully we waited 5 years to have our first child, so we did get to enjoy some time together just being a married couple. Marriage is not easy and as someone told me a long time ago “it is not for punks” LOL! Expect that you will go through many challenges. Here are some guidelines that I think are important for women and moms contemplating marriage.

1) Pre-marital counseling is non negotiable. It kills me when couples don’t see the need for this. I often want to ask “Are you crazy? This is the person you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with?”!!!” You bettah get you some counseling 🙂 AND continue to get counseling through out your marital relationship.

2) Don’t lose sight of your own personal goals and friendships. As moms, we often are so busy caring for others, we don’t take the time to think about our individual lifestyle and relationships. Nurture your relationship with yourself and your friends.

3) Schedule a regular date night. Find another couple in need of a date night and “kid swap.” This way you are guaranteed a date night atleast once a month.

4) Be careful who you share your business with. This is something I have learned the hard way. Having a group of supportive married friends that you can trust is vital.

5) Have faith in God! There will be times in marriage where you will lose faith and maybe even trust in one another, but if you have faith in God you can make it through anything.

6) The couple that prays together stays together. Ask any couple and they will tell you, communication is key to having a healthy marriage. Guess what? There will be times when you feel like you want to cuss somebody out! Yes I said it! Prayer can help you get through the times when you feel you can’t talk to one another or you shouldn’t talk to one another 🙂

7) Intimacy is important to any marriage. Not just sexual, but an intimate connection with your partner. This is something I find you have to watch closely because if you don’t pay attention, distance can creep in and before you know, you might find yourself saying “we just drifted apart.” Set aside time where you talk and continue to get to know each other even if you have been married for 20 or 30 years. Its interesting to explore your partners thoughts, feelings and day to day happenings.

I go on and on about marriage. Please share your thoughts on what helps you to sustain a healthy marriage.

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